You work out of a Hotel?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize