I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
