I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
