But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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