she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize