In the future we'll all be gay
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
