Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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