if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
