I wish my penis had an off switch
well most of my day revolves around power hour
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
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