When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
