i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have already put on my inside pants.
I deserve this hangover.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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