Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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