Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
