I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
