used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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