He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
