He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
