i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
