New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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