Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
