I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
