I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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