Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
