she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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