it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
