i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
