High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
