Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
