i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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