I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
