note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
