No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
