So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
