Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
