im drinking this country out of the recession.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
