Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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