I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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