you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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