I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
