come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
