I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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