I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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