It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
