he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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