Soap is not a condiment
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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