Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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