do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize