Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize