I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize