Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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