This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
