Yo dont text me then not text me
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
