She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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