Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
