belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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