He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
