Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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