when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
