so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
