You're completely useless in the revolution.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
