mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
