ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
did you just send me my own nude
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
