it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
