You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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