I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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