Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize