Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
