He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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