Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
try to milk me bitch
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
