How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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