Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
