"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
