Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize