what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
