I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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