He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
