As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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