Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
