Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My vagina is very pro this idea
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
