I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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