we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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