stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
