Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
