I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
