i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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