Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
